My Easter...

Was quite a bit different than what a lot of you fine folks out there did. For the good stuff.... easter brunch is the fucking balls. There is no way around it. Cadbury eggs? fuck. and. yes. It's fucking eggs made of CANDY! AND fucking sugar cum on the inside! I look like fucking Jenna Jameson eating one of those motherfuckers. I also made sauteed scallops yesterday that literally have changed peoples lives. I'm more than just a pretty face people.





But here's the real fun. The Sixers game last night. It's the true definition of we laughed, we cried, it became a part of us. As if I knew know what I did BEFORE the game, mi madre would have never gotten the invite. Game starts out easy (I have been drinking wine all day), enjoying life.

Game is anti-climatic for the most part, save Young Buck's dead sprint dunk, and Josh Smith's reverse oop (WAY fucking incredible). Sixers played like shit in the 2nd quarter, which MAY or may not have resulted in what happens next....


FUCKING DUDE 10 ROWS UP FROM ME DIES!!!!! His wife is a mess, crying all over the place. Dude isn't breathing, it's a bad scene (insert, this is what you get for being a sixers fan joke). Meds arrive, and drag the guy, straight out of his seat, up the isle, compleltly unconscious.


To say the least, it kinda took the air out of the building.


Next is where my Easter comes full circle. Cut scene to halftime, I'm watching the Sox game, yup, you guessed it, drinking with my lil bartender from the Gods, and D calls. Apparantly someone is having trouble getting into the Lex. Who is it you ask?

That would be Mary Carey. Now who is this genius blonde who speaks in iambic pentameter, who reads Tolstoy in her spare time, that is close for solving for Pi? Rhodes Scholar? Nobel Prize Winner? No. She's a porn star. She's also the chick who ran for govenor of Cali. She was bombed out of her tree and security wouldn't let her on the floor to get into Lex. So I go and save the damsel in distress. I introduce myself to her tits, I mean I say hi. Tell security she's good, and we romp, where we directly go into the mens room where she gives me a toe curler blowjob. Ok, 1 of those things aren't true. I just won't say which. A gentleman never tells.

The rest is just boring details of the why's, the black guys yellin at her, the doucebag she was with in a yankee hat, her other porn star friends who were there, the story of why I did it, and not someone who works there. But lets be honest, you people don't want to hear that shit, you want me to post a pic of her with no clothes on..... Who says I don't love you people.....