The Draft Day Case Race Experience

It's that time of year again my friends, to the show that never ends, almost literally. Where that fat, ruining of picks, hawaiian shirt wearing fuck, and coked out, I mean esteemed colleagues meet for the 2007 NFL draft.

Quick side bar about Kiper here, these last couple days he has looked like a MESS. He needs proactiv and some sunlight STAT. Also, who has the sweeter gig, Kiper or Santa Claus? Both only work 1 day a year (yes they "make toys" and "study game film", but let be honest here, it's 1 day of work). Santa has chicks sit on his lap, Kiper has TRE-mendous hair. Tough call.

Ok, so with the festivities all set to unveil in roughly 24 hours, lets take a sec for me to get my mock draft on. Now, I humbly realize these won't be correct, the draft is like setting up a bunch of dominos for a cool trick like it was Mouse Trap, as soon as you miss 1, the whole thing is fucked up. But that being considered, I'll run down some names and cock sizes (which was a new combine feature this year), since the majority of you don't know who's going where, or really care for that matter. I'm a tradionalist, fuck me.

1 - Oak-motherfucking-town - it's jaMarcus Russel here people. Fuck what ya heard, this guy throws the ball 80 yards like it was shot out of a cannon. NOT to be confused with the sex cannon though.

2 - Deeeeeetroit - Honestly? Who knows. Fire Millen is a god damn joke. I REALLY see them swapping picks with Tampa here, so I'm rollin with weed smoker #1 Calvin Johnson. If you go by what "experts" say, this is Jesus Christ with a facemask, saying he's grading higher than Bush last year. No.fucking.way. Dude is a total beast though, and should break that "don't draft a WR in rd 1 thing"

3 - Brownies - Rich old dudes LOVE white quarterbacks from Notre Dame, so this is a no brainer. Romeo Crennel is oging to get fired anyway, might as well draft the local kid to keep ticket sales up. Brady Isn't as accurate as you may believe, and relied on some UNREAL wideout's the last 2 years with Stovall and Smardjisidasddfn;a. He'll have weapons with Braylon and Kellen, who have made some QB's even WORSE than Brady looks decent. I'm not sold on Quinn, we shall see.

4 - Tampa Bay - As I said, I think this pick will be D-12's, but either way, I'm going Gaines Adams here. Lions have a raging hard on for Patrick Willis, but they need, so does Tampa for that matter, some speed, youth, and the ability to pressure the QB on the D-Line. Big time DE's dont' go out of the top 5 (see Mario Wiliams). Adams gets the nod.

5 - Buzzsaw - Matt Leinart, Edge, Anquan, and Fitz SPRINT to the podium before Zona has a chance to blow this by taking Joe Thomas. "Grades" out better than Brickshaw did last year, and OT's like him should NOT be available at pick 5. Buzzsaw protecs their assests, literally, by taking some MUCH needed OL help.

6 - Snyder's Foreskins - They have been going down on Landry recently, but a hard hitting safety who can't cover anyones job is already Sean Taylors, so I would hope Gibbs wises up and grabs Amobi Okoye, the 19 year old whizzkid who will be a free agent at 24!!! A lot of NFL'ers are just figuring out that condoms help you form having 11 kids in different states and how to drive away from the police. This kid will be signing his SECOND contract. Wow. But remember Snyder is friends with Tom Cruise who may be the only successful person OTHER than Snyder who is more crazier, so who knows.

7 - Vikes - LaRon Landry is pretty much a no brainer here. They have a ball hawk in the secondary, but have a legit void for a hard hitter. Landry knows Cover 2 (but NOT how smoot "covered 2", if ya know what I mean. double sided dildo

8 - Dirty Birds - Jamaal Anderson, not THAT Jamal Anderson, this cat has 2, count um 2 "a's". Kerney's gone, and Abraham, when not almost killing his son in the Old testament, can't stay healthy. It's a need pick, and most certainly not a reach. Now all those people who bought Anderson jerseys in the 90's are hoping to get some re-wear out of them. This dude may have the lowest total of jersey sales for all rookies. I'm excited to find out

9 - Fish - Looks like Levi Brown is the unaminious selection here. Fins need help on the o-line, and this guy rates as the #2 OL. It's a fucking offensive lineman, I doin't have anything funny to say here, next.

10 - Houston - The whole damn city runs to turn this card in, Adrian Peterson redeems the whole Texans fron office staff. They REALLY need a RB, and even with 1 collarbone, Peterson is the best they've EVER had. If Peterson is on the board, and they draft someone else, Houston will throw themselves in fornt of trains en mass. Which, from what I hear, is easy to do in Houston.

11 - Gold Miners - Patrick Willis will more than likely be gone by this time, but if not, makes perfect sense. 49ers need help on the 2nd level of their defense, and this kid worked out like he took a HGH cocktail, so teams are drooling.

12 - Buffalo - Absolute pissed Willis just went as they REALLY need a LB, Levy has a viagara hard on for Poznulskyski, but it's too early for a slow white guy under 300 lbs, so I think they fill the Clemens void and go with Leon Hall. He couldn't cover elite corners in college, but runs really fast and is a nice guy. Welcome to the top 12 draft picks!!!!

13 - Rammers - I guess it's oging to be Carriker from Nebraska, they have so many spots on their defense the levee's in New Orleans are in better shape, so whoever they have rated #1 on defense at this point will be taken, I see a run on white guys here though with a huge 2 in a row.

14 - Sex Panther - 60% of the time, it works EVERY time. and this REALLY holds true here, they have 3 needs to fill in TE, LB, and S... all 3 positions have guys who wouldn't be a reach and nice value. Gun to my head? I'll give them Jon Beason, LB from tha U. But Olsen or Nelson could be taken here jsut as easily, only safe bet is that they'll draft a guy fomr the state of Florida.

15 - Tha Burg - Need a corner, and what? A guy who WENT to Pitt is available and good? And the people up there LOVE homegrown kids? no way. Revis is the pick. Iron's all around Pitt are nervous and about to be consumed in mass quanitity.

16 - Pack - By this time I will be drunk and unable to remember the next few hours, so it sounds like a GREAT time to take Marshayn Lynch. They need a RB with dreads since Ahman Green left, well wouldn't ya know it, there is a black guy with dreads who likes running away from people. Match made in heaven.

17 - Jax - Depressing city gets some homegrown talent at safety, Reggie Nelson is the guy and IT'S A RUN ON DREADS. People across America start tokin and listening to Marley in rejoice! Oh wait, they are just smoking to be able to deal with Berman for another couple hours.

18 - Bengals - The city's law enforcement is giddy with anticapation on who they can arrest next, and it looks like tasers will have to be used with big ol Alan Branch coming to town. Branch was top 10 talent, but only decides to play every so often, so he slips to 18. Cincy needs to stop the run, this guy is wider than the lines of coke being done by Chris Henry when they make this pick.

19 - Titans - Need a WR for Madden curse 2008 VY and a return guy to replace Inmate# 320865, goes by the street name PacMan. So it looks like Ted Ginn gets the call.

20 - Gints - Coughlin loves white dudes who listen, so almost a given it's Posluszny. Only other guy would be the even BIGGER white dude Joe Staley at OT to watch Eli's ass. But Eli gets that from the meatpacking district in the city anyway.

21 - Donkeys - They are trying to trade up in the top 5 for either Calvin or Thomas, so expect either a WR or OT here, the wide outs are about the same, so I'm going with Joe Staley to help keep Cutler upright.

22 - Cowpokes - Have addressed all of their concerns already in the offseason, so these are luxury picks. Dallas doesn't like drafting offense in Rd 1, so they'll stay in state and go with Aaron Ross. Corners always go in bunches at the end of Rd 1, I don't see a reason for that to change.

23 - KC - REALLY need to draft a WR, but they've needed to do that for 3 years and haven't, so who the fuck knows. But Meachem carries a mid 1st rd grade and NEEDS to be gone by here, I'm hoping he's not so the Bolts get him, KC needs o-line help, as all their monsters have drifted into the sea.

24 - Patsies - Who knows, these guys draft with no rhyme or reason, and always make it work. Strickly a guess, but safety looks like a good spot, next guy on the list will either be Griffin in UT or this guy, who I'm going with Brandon Merriweather from tha U.

25 - j-e-t-s .... - Olsen seems like a good fit, considering Pennington can't throw it that far. Olsen gives them a threat in the middle of the field. tha U rejoices, then wonders if they had so much talent, why did we totally suck last year.

26 - Iggles - Micheal Griffin sounds about right. I'd say more, but most my friends are bird fans and would be pissed at all my iggle jokes, so lets move on since they know where i live.

27 - Ain'ts - at this point I'd be happy to be able to make a complete sentence, let alone stand up, so I don't see me celebrating the Bolts pick. Saints go with Justin harrell at DT to cause a ruckus, which NO needs on their defense.

28 - Patsies - Why does it seem like they always have 2 1st rounders.. they need a ILB, and harris is the top rated guy, so I'm going with him. But in case you're as drunk now as I will be when this pick goes through, and need a reminder from 4 picks ago, no one has a clue about these guys.

29 - Purple Cammo Wearing Fans - ravens need OL help, so I'm oging Ben Grubbs, again, these picks are boring, and my team is next, so.... NEXT

30 - Bolts - My boys need a safety, but all look to be gone at this point, so getting younger at wide out won't suck, as Rivers will need weapons on the outside of the field. Looks like Bowe from LSU carries a nice 1st rd grade, maybe Gonzalez from Ohio St as well since SoCal is so close to a whole BUNCH of dudes with the last name Gonzalez, jersey sales could sub as workers outfits. Who knows.

31 - Da Bears - Spent all their picks last year on defense, so I'll have them go with Dwayne Jarrett to be Moose's replacement. And the Sex Cannon immediately thorws a football to Saturn and fucks the USC song girls 9all at the same time) to celebrate.

32 - Colts - Need OLB, and Timmons is a great fit. That was easy. Lets just hope he's not gay, I hear Dungy doesn't like that kinda stuff.

Hope this was useful (yeah fucking right), and are able to partake in some festive beverages with me tomorrow. Enjoy the draft kids!

My Easter...

Was quite a bit different than what a lot of you fine folks out there did. For the good stuff.... easter brunch is the fucking balls. There is no way around it. Cadbury eggs? fuck. and. yes. It's fucking eggs made of CANDY! AND fucking sugar cum on the inside! I look like fucking Jenna Jameson eating one of those motherfuckers. I also made sauteed scallops yesterday that literally have changed peoples lives. I'm more than just a pretty face people.





But here's the real fun. The Sixers game last night. It's the true definition of we laughed, we cried, it became a part of us. As if I knew know what I did BEFORE the game, mi madre would have never gotten the invite. Game starts out easy (I have been drinking wine all day), enjoying life.

Game is anti-climatic for the most part, save Young Buck's dead sprint dunk, and Josh Smith's reverse oop (WAY fucking incredible). Sixers played like shit in the 2nd quarter, which MAY or may not have resulted in what happens next....


FUCKING DUDE 10 ROWS UP FROM ME DIES!!!!! His wife is a mess, crying all over the place. Dude isn't breathing, it's a bad scene (insert, this is what you get for being a sixers fan joke). Meds arrive, and drag the guy, straight out of his seat, up the isle, compleltly unconscious.


To say the least, it kinda took the air out of the building.


Next is where my Easter comes full circle. Cut scene to halftime, I'm watching the Sox game, yup, you guessed it, drinking with my lil bartender from the Gods, and D calls. Apparantly someone is having trouble getting into the Lex. Who is it you ask?

That would be Mary Carey. Now who is this genius blonde who speaks in iambic pentameter, who reads Tolstoy in her spare time, that is close for solving for Pi? Rhodes Scholar? Nobel Prize Winner? No. She's a porn star. She's also the chick who ran for govenor of Cali. She was bombed out of her tree and security wouldn't let her on the floor to get into Lex. So I go and save the damsel in distress. I introduce myself to her tits, I mean I say hi. Tell security she's good, and we romp, where we directly go into the mens room where she gives me a toe curler blowjob. Ok, 1 of those things aren't true. I just won't say which. A gentleman never tells.

The rest is just boring details of the why's, the black guys yellin at her, the doucebag she was with in a yankee hat, her other porn star friends who were there, the story of why I did it, and not someone who works there. But lets be honest, you people don't want to hear that shit, you want me to post a pic of her with no clothes on..... Who says I don't love you people.....

Bold Announcement

Let me prefice this by saying I realize I may get some heat for this. Anything from "Baseball is boring", "you turncoat motherfucker", etc. Now to the good stuff...

I'll admit that I am EXTREMELY excited for the upcoming baseball season. I'm not entirely sure as to why, but all of the main components of the game... being outside on a warm summer day with a cold beer and a stale hot dog in hand, the history, the beauty, are all resonating deep within my heart this spring. I have a fantasy baseball team for the first time in 5 years, I'm reding articles, the whole 9.

With this new found joy, I came to a conslusion that while I may be unsure about, for some reason "FEELS" right. I am throwing my hat into the ring for 1 of the hard luck cases in recent memory. I'm becoming a Phillies fan.

I've been raised a Red Sox fan, and the moment they won the Series a few years back will not only be a night, but a solid month of non-stop memories, culminating with a sick me counting outs and hugging my Mom after the final out, finally believing in the truly unbelievable.

The thing with that is this.... it wasn't "mine". I was forced into the Red Sox Nation with the same atmosphere as your parents deciding which religion is best suited for your needs. While there is a lot of history in that, and the stories out of the Nation that fateful fall actually made me well up with tears in some cases, I was somewhat at arm's reach from it. I didn't grow up living and dying with every season, I became a fan by proxy. My grandfather was an alter boy with Yaz when they were kids, and in turn, my family became Sox fans when Carl made the team. So while that story will forever be a part of Kwasnieski family lore, it's not a reason to root for the Sox. it's a reason to root for Yaz.

Here is what I DO remember as a kid and professional baseball. Going to the Vet with my grandfather (die hard Phightin Phils fan), going to the Dog House on the way up to the game, and stopping for pizza on the way home. Without fail, every time. I remember the give aways, Juan Samuel being my favorite Phillie (he wore my favorite number 8), laughing at Von Hayes and his nose being the size of Kenya, wondering how Ken Tkulve could throw like that, etc. It wasn't wins and losses, it was true fandom as a kid, and it was bliss.

So while the interest faded as I grew older, when I stopped collecting baseball cards, and my interest turned to football and basketball, I became disinterested in all things Phillies. The Len Dystrka, Mitch Williams, John Kruk years (and another epic city of Philadelphia melt down) had absolutely zero impact on my life. Unlike the Sixers getting crushed by the Lakers in 2000, or basically every year I've been a Charger fan. Which is why it's ironic that I lost interest after the stories came out how "tainted" those teams really were.

So while I tuned in for Cal's streak, the home run summer of Mac and Sammy, and watched the playoffs, my heart was never truly in to it. Which is why this year is different. I'm excited, I need a place to put my unbridled passion. Re-capture my youth. Create memories. I need something thats "mine" (like the Chargers and Sixers are). So I stumble upon a team with young stars and a rabid fan base awaiting something to grasp on to. I read all the great things about their players, Aaron Rowand giving everything on the field, I read this about Ryan Howard (http://articles.phillymag.com/articles/ryan_howard_is_not_a_creep_a_cheat_a_liar_or_a_fraud/ ), and it hits me. All of this is SUPPOSED to happen.

So Phillies, you've gained a fan. While 1 of my deeper regrets was not repaying my grandfather by taking him to the new Citizens Bank park, with his son, 3 grandchildren, and great grandchild, as we discussed, before his death last year. I can do it post mordum. I can be along for the ride, no matter where it takes me. I can rekindle the joy I had as a kid. I can re-live memories with friends and family. I can love a sport that brought me in to all the other sports avenues all over again. I can be a fan, and make it truly mine.

Lets play ball......

Real.

Ok, look, I know. I should have just re-named this blog "All things Gilbert", or something to that effect. But do yourself a favor and read this http://www.nba.com/blog/gilbert_arenas#070322_01 (yes I didn't do all the cool little html code, just read it).

Yes, there are grammar mistakes, it's a little long, but it's easily the most refreshing thing an athlete has said in quite some time. I could not agree more with everything written.

What he is conveying is what each and every one of us strives for in life. To be able to laugh at yourself, have fun, and recapture a youthful exuberence we all aspire to achieve. We always long for the days when we were young, and could go out and be silly. Gilbert IS doing that.

It's the reason I enjoy going to sporting events so much. It's ABOUT that moment, that temporary reprieve from the world's realities. I want to laugh, joke, be with friends, cheer, boo, and see things not many can do. I know they may be over paid, and it's just a big business. But when you look inside of all of that, every so often, you find someone like Gilbert Arenas. it's refreshing, it's honest, it's everything YOU would do if given that same chance.

He connects with the every day fan, and it's a vital reason why he has becomed loved by the likes of myself, and the "younger" "blogger" generation. He may not be a "hero" by definition, but you sure can do worse than a guy who is a great father, loves living life, smiles, enjoys other company, and accomodates his fans.

We all have a tendacy to make life a bit too hard sometimes, I fall victim often myself. Then you read the thoughts from someone, albeit one in a different place in life, and it puts things in perspective. From counting blessings, remembering how great life is, to stopping and just smile every once in awhile. Gil's blog may as well be a mission statement to what sports, and why we watch, is all about.

Go out there and laugh kids. Enjoy the ride.

Millennium Pong

Um.... fuck and yes! This is EVERYTHING that is right with drinking. Game was Beirut, EASILY the greatest drinking game man has created. They used 1000 cups! This truly is the Lord's work. Only thin that is a let down of this video is the fact that HOW DO YOU NOT SHOW THE FINAL SHOT!!!! After 999 makes, you HAVE to show that. That guy deserved his due glory. I miss college, however brief it lasted.


Yes, I know I'm pussing out by just posting youtube videos. Get over it. This has been some quality shit.

What better fitting way to come back

I've been so pre-occupied with bullshit, LR has taken a backseat. To come back, I've found the PERFECT youtube vid.

Josh Smith EASILY would have had the dunk of the year here (much like how much riveting content I would have posted since I've been gone).

Josh Smith is in my top 5 players in the NBA. No, thats not a typo. If I'm starting a team, I go with Steve Nash, Amare, and Josh Smith. Those 3 guys win you a title this year.

Hopefully I'll be back with a vengence here now. Key word... I hope....

Are you kidding me???

There are things that happen in life that truly baffle me, out first example is

this .

A couple quick points here, as I have a much bigger fish to fry for example #2. And this may be easier to wrap my brain around. But, are you fucking serious? This auction, at time of posting is over 2000, to PAY a girl, to use YOUR superbowl ticket. WHAT?!?!?! I'd like to write something to make some semblence of sense of this, but I'm unable. You stay classy, Sarah Spain.

Now, as most of you know, I'm not 1 to be all serious all the time, but if you haven't read

this yet over at the world wide leader, please do

The injustice at this is down right maddening. When you see so. many. cases. of people who CLEARLY broke the law, and get off scott free, then read something like this, if it doesn't make your blood boil, I'm not sure what to say.

I have, with no doubts, believe that if this gentleman was white, he wouldn't have even been within a 10 mile radius of jail. Let alone serve 10, of the most influential years of his life, trapped in a jail cell. While there are people who have gotten behind this young man, with far more money, power, resources, etc than I (Mark Cuban being the one to come to mind). I CAN help spread the word, and try to induce change. Even if "change" comes in the form of spreading a message. How bad inequalities spread, and how crazy our nation can be.

So while it may seem frivolous, you can at least make your voice known by

clicking here to sign your name

Costa Rica is starting to look, more and more, like a legit option for me.

Greatness...

While it may have become apparant that there are some people I throughly enjoy reading on here, I have somewhat faded on Bill Simmons, his ideas have become tired and he is basically mailing it in until his contract expires with espn.com, but every once in awhile he nails it. Today was one of those days, everyone, please read

this in it's entirety

The only thing that pissed me off about it was the fact he stole my thunder on the Ok St-Texas game last night, which truly was an amazing basketball game. As Chubs and Last Card can attest to, as I blew up their cell's with txt's of every update.

A couple things of note from at least my standpoint, which is tough to distuinguish after Simmons puts 2000 words on it. I actually had a chance to watch both of these teams on consecutive nights. Suns were at Memphis, and I got lucky and caught the last 2 minutes of regulation and all the OT's in the Texas/Ok St game.

He isn't all the way correct in his synopsis of dominating players in sports, granted, he nailed Tiger and Federer, there are 2 kids who are doing things in the NHL right now that are unworldly, in Sid Crosby and Ovechkin. I'd also at least debate the fact that what Tomlinson did this year was without equal in the football realm. So while we may not be ALL the way there, it's at least worth noting that is just may be a time of change, and the players are in position.

He is absolutely spot on with Kevin Durant. Wow. It's basically all you can say in regards to his abilities with a basketball in his hands on a court. You get the feeling while watching him that you know he is only scratching the surface to what he can do, and do it with regularity, but what he CAN do now is breathtaking. They forced him left last night, and it didn't phase him at all, he was seen joking on the sidelines throughout the whole game, totally oblivious to the pressure. Nailed big shots, and was effortless in any and all that he did. I'll reserve who should go number 1 until I see Greg Oden actually play with a HEALTHY right hand (remarkable he's done so much with his predominant hand being hurt). But lets just say they are 1a and 1b, and as a Sixer fan? I could NOT be more excited to watch the majority of their career in person, if we luck out.

In regard to the Suns, I've always had a place in my heart for Amare, he is just a fascinating indivdual, and it shows through his game. He is a marvel to watch, but confusing at the same time. His off court persona reflects that as well. To be blessed with all this talent, and uncertainty, to injury, to domination, it's a career, albeit brief, that has been a roller coaster ride from the beginning. But he is the main reason why Phoenix is at another level right now, they took the Suns team that changed EVERYONES view in 2005, with the Suns team in 2006 (sans Amare), and combined them this year to create something unparalled in basketball history.

I don't doubt that the Texas/Ok St game will be on a "Instant Classic" on espn soon. It had everything you could ask for as a fan. Terrific environment for a college game, equally matched teams playing at the height of their game, and ends with a last second game winner. Take into account how many times do you see a college game have both teams finish in triple digits, have the guy who sank the game winner in the 3rd OT go for 36 points 20 rebounds, and the guy with the most talent on the court, hit clutch shot after clutch shot, and go for 37 points and 11 rebounds in a LOSING effort. There were defensive stops when needed, clutch shooting, sub-plots, a coach nearly passed out, it's described the essence of why I love the game of basketball.

So read Simmons, start watching the Suns, and not only catch the replay of the Okie St Longhorn game, but start to get excited for a new era in sports. It's been overdue. Just thank we while you're enjoying the ride.....

Again....

While I'm not going to druge up a bunch of the game scenarios that happened last sunday night, I'll tell you what happened AFTER the game, in a feeble attempt to forget about the monstrosities that just occured, i started drinking liquor until the game didn't matter as much any more, which was all fine and good until my liver realized I hated it. So it decided to tag team with my stomach and declared war.

A GMC Yukon was the innocent bystandard for the new found rage, so it retreated to the side of the road so I could continue this battle against myself.

The next 1 hurt was my LT jersey, where it is now in critical condition soaking in a bathtub from massive damage. The other casualty was a t-shirt that lay dead on arrival. My cell phone only suffered minor injuries and was released the next day.

This was not the only battle that I suffered through as a result of my fandom for the beloved Chargers. While resting comfortably in my own bed, nursing my battle wounds, I decided to reward all the hard work my kidneys performed. While making that pilgrimmage, my floor decided it was the time to strike. It cleverly placed an object in front of my feet, forcing me down to it's level quickly. The resuly was a minor black eye, and the weapon of choice of the carpet, the dreaded rug burn.

fucking chargers.

THE Ohio St / Florida game, LIVE...

Ok, I can't believe it's been like 40 days since OSU has played a meaningful football game, how the hell does that make any damn sense? This is almost the national championship for 2007, as OSU just dominated 2006. As soon as they beat Meeeeeee-chigan, that was pretty much the tits at that point, and the season was over. But alas, we now have an "extra" game, and since there isn't shit else on tonght, lets live blog this out, see what happens....

8:03 - We are LIVE from casa de King. We are finishing off a bottle of cianti, and the 1st of what will more than likely be upward of 300 "24" commercials just came on. Jack Bauer may as well do color comentary for the game as many times he will be on TV tonght.

8:05 - The highlights of yesteryear are using the same music as the Sixers use pre-game with clips of their last NBA championship.

8:07 - The crew for the pre-game? Some no name playing the part of James Brown, they have Jimmie Johnson in there, and Eddie George and Emmitt Smith. Forced much? Jesus, why try to make a rivalry out of OSU-UF that doesn't excist?

8:08 - I'll admit it. The cursive "Script Ohio", that the OSU band does is pretty impressive, and damn cool.

8:10 - Should be a lot of talent that will be playing on Sunday's in this game. While it doesn't have the "star power" as the USC/Texas last year, it's only becasue a lot of the talent is young. From OSU's defense, to Tedd Ginn. From UF's speed, speed, speed. The Tebow's, the WR's, and the LB's are all freshmn and soph's, so no one just no one knows them yet. But we will. Lotsa future millionaires out there tonight for certain.

8:16 - Prediction? I don't see how UF stays within double digits. I think this whole "speed" thing has pissed off the Buckeyes, and Chris Leak isn't even in the same league as Troy Smith for playing in big games. Smith always makes 1 "big play", Leak makes 1 dumb play. That right there is the difference in this 1 me thinks...yes, I'm also hoping that we get some Gator Co-Eds on screen tonight just like the rest of the world. If they don't? Then the terrorists have won.

8:25 - Ok, 1st hilarious moment, hopefully of many.... when UF came out of the tunnel, this old man got damn ran over, all he could do was throw his arms in the air and panic. Much like Eli Manning in any football game. Good times...

8:28 - Who in the freaking hell is in the booth for well, arguably the biggest college football game of the year. Fox really shit the bed in getting BCS rights, they don't have nearly anyone to fit the bill. Barry Alverez was a solid coach, doing a fine job as AD for Wisky, but in the booth? ugh. Hey, at least it's not Joey Theeesmen though.

8:33 - Kick Off. Jesus it must be nice to live on the west coast. By the time this game is over, it's past last call. I hope I have enough wine...

8:34 - Well that was fast. As I said, that Ginn kid may just turn out to be a decent ball player, oh yeah, does UF still want to talk about speed?

8:35 - I'm fairly certain unless the gators score a td here, Ginn wins MVP and tOSU wins the national championship. Sometimes you just kinda know....

8:40 - Florida decided to at least show up, how cute. Here comes Tebow... no pressure here freshman. Why in the hell would Meyer fuck up the rhythem his offense his offense has now? And on cue... Tebow for 8 yards up the middle. I guess thats why.

8:42 - Everyone who bet the under has already ripped up their ticket and are starting to drink. Heavily. Baker for the TD, dangerously close to getting picked, but great pass from Leak.

8:49 - Troy Smith almost tears his ACL, he looks fine. Florida forces a 3 & out and have GREAT field position once again. Nice job by them keeping their poise from that 1st shot in the mouth.

8:54 - I've seen 3 plays and roughly 8 commercials. 3 plays in 12 minutes, no I'm not pissed or anything.

8:55 - BOOM! Percy Harvin is crazy quick, but got straight planted on that one where he lined up under the gun. Remember his name though folks.... kid has game.

8:56 - Big 3rd down here for both teams, tOSU needs to stop the momentum, UF needs to capitalize on the field position

8:57 - Another great throw by Leak. That's Meyer's system, rolling the pocket, and crossing routes, Leak nailed both of them flawlessly. 1st and goal at the 7....

8:58 - Percy harvin makes me look like a guru as he uses nothing but speed to get into the endzone and it may be 42-35 halftime at this rate....

9:00 - check that, he's down at the 1. Sets up another big 3rd down....

9:01 - double reverse, the downside to live blogging this... TD stands. And I'm a genius again, well at least until the next prediction

9:06 - Tedd Ginn limps to the locker room.... um....... that kinda changes the game a lil.

9:07 - Troy Smith gets sacked for a loss of 96 yards, and Derrick harvey the guy that just ran him down from behind (very impressive), and also has 2 sacks tonight, is down holding his knee. Honestly, from troy Smith almost going Mcgahee on us, to Ginn, to now Harvey, can we please just call this game and not ruin their careers?

9:11 - It's like bizarro world. Smith just threw the ball to no one in particular, and it gets picked off. Now Leak is out there like Tom Brady hitting wide outs all over the field, he's like 7 for 7 80 yards. All this, and there is still 2 minutes to go in the 1st quarter....

9:13 - 8 for 8 for roughly 100 now. Can I take back my vote for MVP since my guy is currently getting fellated in the locker room?

9:15 - 8 different guys have touched the ball on the offensive side of the ball for the Gators, impressive playcalling. I'll give you Leak's offical stats when I can, but they will be impressive, ANOTHER solid playcall by Meyer with that reverse, with all that speed you alsmot have to over persue and over commit, it's now 1st and goal... and Leak throws it away in a good decision. Not a bad 1st incompletion

9:17 - Tebow enters the game for the Brandon Jacobs, Marion Barber role, he gets to the 2. it's kinda funny, the white guy runs and the black guy passes. Hell of a combo they have going though. 14-7 Gators and it hasn't even been that close.

9:21 - That sound you hear are people jumping off the Buckeye bandwagon.

9:23 - 1st shot of the student section for UF, and it she had a chin like Abraham Lincoln, my lord she looked like the wicked witch of the west in the Wizard of Oz. Joakim Noah is a better looking girl than she is.

9:24 - Dumb penalty for Florida, now OSU has 1st and 10 at the 38, just compounded a big play by Troy Smith. Still no Ted Ginn.

9:27 - TD Pittman, the one that DOESN'T beat his wife for those of you not familiar with college and just watch the pro's. 35 points total in 16 minutes, my lord.

9:31 - tedd Ginn returns from the locker room, and my MVP pick from 10 seconds in to the game is making his Bernard King return. He just wanted the sympathy votes as well. I wouldn't change my bet. I know who WON'T win it... the defensive cordinators. Brutal.

9:34 - Gator Cheerleaders... still not impressed.

9:40 - Nice job by tOSU defense to force a stop. It's been a great game thus far especially by Florida. Already better then all 4 games played last weekend in the playoffs, ok the Eagles/Giants game looked to be played at a fairly high level, but I was also drunk.

9:44 - My MVP is on the sidelines, but not playing. I'm still holding out on him coming in for an 80 yard TD to win he game and thus wrapping up my MVP choice.

9:48 - I'm starting to think there are more commercials being shown tonight than the Superbowl. I've seen the rock em sock em robots about a half dozen times. Only reason I haven't clawed out my eyes? They don't sing.... this is ourrrrrr country". Fuck. That. Song.

sideways.

9:50 - The defenses have finally lost the deer in the headlights look, and the defensive lines are starting to move the line of scrimmage. The people who bet the under are too drunk by now to notice.

9:52 - Percy Harvin = Speed. It's like he's constantly being chased by a large animal with big teeth.

9:57 - Kicker for UF's last name is Ihaus I believe. If he starts smashing pumpkins and hangs with a bald white guy (much like Gonzalez) We'd have a new leader in the clubhouse for funniest moment of the night.

10:00 - Tressel panic's at the disco goign for it on 4th down form his own 30, and well, that didn't go so well. florida can really break this open going into halftime here. They also get the ball to open the 2nd half.

10:01 - The booth just referenced Waiting to Exhale. I'm being serious. Do they really think a lot or 30ish year old black women are watching this game? I'm speechless to how damn crazy that was. As I"m sitting in disbelief, the kicker for UF puts another one through the uprights, not a nail in the coffin that a TD would have been, as it's still only 13, but points none the less. You have to feel pretty good right now holding a ticket with UF on the moneyline or the over, well we already knew the over. Go ask the guy standing on a bridge right now with his under bet.

10:08 - now THAT will just about do it, until my MVP Ginn has a 3 TD 2nd half. Gators defensive line is all kinds of quick and relentless, forcing a fumble. Gators 1st and goal from the 5 to just about end this with a TD.

10:11 - the booth announcers are absolutely clueless as to the time line to this game. I'm drinking and have a better grasp.

10:12 - TD Gators. And um, I REALLY wish I was in Gainesville tonight.

10:13 - They have put 34 points on the freaking Buckeyes. In the first half. Um, wow. I'd like to take this time to acknowledge that I realize my picks for the bowl games were a little less then steller (I think I only won 1, including saying something along the lines that OSU would roll here, etc). Let me say I was out of the college gambling circuit for the first time in many years this season. warrants mentioning. The lesson? I'm an idiot.

10:16 - halftime. I'm switching to Dogfish. I have a feeling this blog will get cut short due to the score and we not really wanting to watch rock um sock um robot commercials, mentally challenged gentlemen calling the game, and having no rooting interest.

10:28 - Ok, for fuck sake, it's not going to be until God knows when to start the second half. I'm sure as shit I'm not live blogging for 4 hours tonight. If the game picks back up, we'll re-join this clusterfuck. If not, congrats to the Gators, that was an absolute ass whopping no one saw coming.

Boise St for National Champs!!!!!

The impossible...

This is for ll the saps who went to bed and missed 1 of the truly epic 4th quarter and overtimes ever. While I'll give the nod to Vince Young in the Rose Bowl last year as having the greatest individual peformance ever, due to the stage, the build-up, and the "moment". Nothing, I mean NOTHING was more exciting than watching all of these events unfold.

It defines the essance of why we watch sports. How some drama's can not be scripted, but just have to be unfolded through life, and the moments it creates for us. From (in order) Boise St just straight giving OU the business for 3.9 quarters, only to see it slip away in the arms of a Pick 6 to a corner for OU who has overcome knee and shoulder injuries his first 2 years as a Sooner. To the truly magical hook and ladder play, that ranks up there with any play you wll ever see. To watching Adrian Peterson run through any dreams they may have had in OT, to then a former walk-on WR throwing the game winning TD on 4th and 2. Then, lastly, EASILY the sweetest, ballsiest, and well jesus, did you SEE that Statue of Liberty play? I was speechlees.

Then in the midst of all the excitment, Ian Johnson proposes to his girlfriend (thanks for ruining it Chris Fowler, you dick) in front of all the euphoria, cameras, and a world wide audience.
It's what makes life so damn cool sometimes.....

Yes, all of these things actually happened...

To try and recover from the mood of the last post, I'm going to skip all of the stuff about Bob Knight breaking Dean Smith's record, a day of bowl games, the NFL playoffs, etc. and go straight to some things that truly can only be dreamed about by males 13 and up, and some choice females as well... behold my friends, we have found some moments in time that will have our brains occupied for a longgggg time.....

Yeah, thats a USC song girl um, well, yeah, I'll just repeat the begining of my sentence, this is a USC song girl. Feel free to watch the video clip of this if you don't believe this went down at the Rose Bowl yesterday after the jump...

Um, I'm not quite sure how to put this, as I realize that I was drinking well, a mini-bar worth of stuff the last couple days, but this is Jessica Alba. Playing Football. In a bikini. Things like this are proof, of well, everything that is good with life. Like I'm even going to ask, but if you would like to see the rest of the photos, really, who DOESN'T, hit the comments after the jump.

Senseless...

I wanted to wait until at least some detail was released about Darrent Williams death. I saw this picture today and it just makes everything that much more real. I truly can't comprehend what it must be like for Javon Walker, who held his friend as he died from a single gunshot wound to the neck after being involved in a drive by shooting. To imagine how many sleepless nights await, to never really being able to get over trauma such as that. It saddens me to know how many others die like Darrent Williams did for no real reason at all. How there are now 2 young boys in this world without a father for the rest of their lives. And to think about how many more boys and girls have lost thier Mom or Dad from being in the war or senseless acts such as these.

It also brings on to us a new age of the sports world that has become a reality. There were never stories of Mickey Mantle being stabbed during his nightly bar hopping adventures in the Big Apple, or Joe Namath being jumped visting as many soriority houses east of the Mississippi, tragically, it's become a common occurance. Paul Pierce being stabbed, Ken Hamlin being jumped last year, Joey Porter being shot, and now this. While I'm not going to speculate to gun laws, or mentalities of the youth and the glamorizing of violence, it has to be noted that what is hapening right now should serve as a wake up to the bed that we have made. The reality that we live in right now is downright scary, and the risk involved today is at an all time high.

Hopefully this won't just be another story that gets buried as all too many do, and some semblence of light can be taken from an otherwise horrific nightmare for the Williams family, friends, and countless others that this young man has touched in his life. That the lessons we DO learn go to serve a greater purpose, and the memory of Darrent Williams was not in vain, rather one that sparked a change for a greater good.