Resolutions...

It's that time of year again, where we make half hearted promises to better ourselves and contribute to the overall yummy goodness of man-kind. While putting realistic expectations on how my 2007 will unfold, I"d at least like to assemble a rough draft to help me in times of crisis.

1) Go to the beach more - Let's get some facts together on this 1, you have co-ed's freash from college, bars every block, and them either wet or frolicking in sand, all while being half naked. Why exactly I don't LIVE down there should be more of a question. Regardless of the "why's", lets just say I'll more than likely be tan by July 1.

2) Run - Being fat and wearing that leopard spandex my grandmother gace me for Christmas doesn't exactly bode well to sweep all the festive females listed in resolution #1. While going with the tried and true method of pouring rum infused drinks down their throat always seems to work, I'm going high class this year. Besides, I can't be drunk all summer, or can I.....

3) Drink More - I'll spare you the whole drink more beer, fish live in it, and the whole when you drink you sleep, when you sleep you don't sin, you don't sin you go to heaven non-sense, and cut to the facts. Drinking is fun. Not in just the obvious ways, but be honest, people are easier to tolerate while looking through hazy eyes and improper grammer. Which is better? Being the one who IS drunk, or taking car of someone drunk? Yup, drinking wins in a landslide. By the way... it's $2 to ride the ocean city drunk bus all day and night. So bloddy marys in the morning to Orange Crushes in the afternoon, and Yager Bombs til last call are all realistic possibilities. I may either meet 1000 people this summer, get laid a dozen times a month, and run a tab at both the Green Turtle and Birth Control Clinic while buying stock in Penacilin. Ok, maybe all of them

4) Learn to Surf - Tell me how many times you've said, "damn, that freaking looks like a blast". Or, "Jesus Christ she's hot, I bet she'd dig me if I surfed." Both are sure fire winners. Odds of me injuring myself? About even money.

5) Appreciate - Not to end this is some meloncholy puff piece, but I am blessed with great friends, a solid support ground, and an all around great life. I'm fortunate beyond my wildest dreams. Be mindful of that, and help others in any way I can to help, at least a little, of all the cool things I have, and am able to do.

So go live it up kiddies. There is always a girl out there who is spending her first new years alone after coming off a long term relationship. To the girl who bought a special dress and shoes and just WANTS to get noticed, to.... well jesus, what else do you want, it's like shotting fish in a barrel this weekend. If you're into drinking, getting laid, and hugging strangers, and really, who ISN'T? Be safe out there, I'll see you all back in 2007. Lots of great stuff in store here at the lr.